Posted by Anonymous on 2015/07/22 under Uncategorized Men, an interesting species aren’t they? What is dating a man anyway? We basically pick out a fully grown male that we like, who still acts like a child and begin taking care of them for their mothers. Yes we love them but holy crap are they ever annoying. Here are some of the most annoying things you men do. Let’s start off with the most annoying things you do in bed. 1. “Buttstuff” 2. Skipping Foreplay 3. Thinking That She Has A Low Sex Drive Because It Doesn’t Match Yours 4. Asking Us If We Finished 5. Yanking At Our Nipples Like You’re Tuning A Radio 6. Asking Us If It Feels Good While In The Act 7. Falling Asleep Right After 8. Pushing Our Heads Down 9. Giving Us Facials 10. Having Us Try Stupid Stuff 11. No Reciprocating 12. Guiding Our Hands To Your Penis Okay, now that that’s been dealt with let’s move on to the other nonsexual things that guys do that annoy us. 1. Mindless Yattering 2. Eating Like A Dog 3. Playing On Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, Imgur, Tumblr 4. Video Games 5. Complaining About Everything 6. Saying Stupid Words You Seen Online 7. Being Naked More Than Clothed 8. The Slobbery, Forceful Kiss 9. Mocking Our TV Shows And Music 10. Eating Our Snacks 11. Always Wanting To Get Drunk 12. Brushing Off Our Thoughts On Marriage And Kids 13. Eating In Bed 14. When You’re Lazy 15. When You’re Late 16. Stop Talking About Sexual Thing All The Time 17. Remove Your Hands From Your Pants 18. Ignoring Calls And Texts 19. Don’t Get Awkward About Her Period Okay, so this is the end of my list. This list will probably save your relationship if you adhere to it. Want some tips? Sure, I’ll help you out, here’s ten tips! 1. Take your girl on a date. A REAL one. That means plan something out. Not a movie or a dinner date. I mean take our stargazing or midnight swimming. Plan a picnic or rent some go karts. SOMETHING. 2. Do some real research on what turns women on. Steer away from the porn and try asking your woman what she likes. 3. We like our men strong, protective, and manly. Learn how to change her car oil, learn some 4. Help out around the house sometimes if you don’t already. 5. When you know it’s that time of month, buy her chocolate, give her a massage, offer to do the laundry, let her cry on your shoulder for no reason, listen to her problems even if they don’t seem that big to you. It hits some of us harder than others and sometimes it knocks us out for a couple days. We appreciate this stuff. 6. Don’t yell. It scares us. You’re supposed to be our protectors. We count on you. You can get your point across without raising your voice. 7. Treat her like a queen and she’ll treat you like a king. That sex you’re always wanting and not getting, it’s because she isn’t emotionally able to have sex with you, show her you love her and not with your penis. 8. Talk to her. We love talking. It doesn’t matter what about, just have a conversation. 9. Don’t be late. This is a big one. Being late makes us think you don’t care. 10. Ask her about her life. Ask her about her day, work, how she is feeling. Make her know that you care.
Is that even a real word? I doubt it. Slipping ‘it’ in ‘by accident’ isn’t fooling anyone. Guys, it freaking hurts both during and after. Once in a while if it’s not a surprise and you have lube, okay maybe but let’s be real, that hole was not given to us for sex. We don’t like it. AT ALL. No matter what your pornos have made you think, it is not at all pleasurable.
Just don’t do it. If you want to turn your woman off having sex with you forever, this is the way to do it. If it hurts when you start start sticking ‘it’ in, she’s not ready. It really does HURT guys, so make sure you warm her up.
Women were not designed to have the sex drives that men do or even close. Some of us are fine with going weeks without sex. It is not the only thing on our minds. If we’re busy it can easily slip our minds. We know you have needs but just because we’re not jumping all over doesn’t mean that we have a low sex drive. Also guys, rubbing her and talking dirty isn’t likely going to turn her on. This isn’t a porno. Girls are turned on by their emotions. Try having a deep conversation with her or filling up a bath for her. Do something that she will appreciate. THAT is what makes us want you. Not you flicking at our nipples or something. That is just annoying.
Don’t ask this. Ever. Do you really think that we’re going to say no even if we didn’t? Don’t feel bad when it doesn’t happen, guys. Again, we’re not like you, we can’t just finish in the first five seconds ESPECIALLY if you don’t warm us up first. Some of us have trouble finishing at all. It’s not always your fault.
Were all for you playing with our nipples when we’re in the mood. Doing it at random times throughout the day is just annoying. It doesn’t feel good. So don’t.
Uh, you’re ruining the mood times 10. Nuff’ said.
Like I said earlier, we are creatures of emotion. When you fall asleep right afterwards you make us feel like you keep us around mainly for sex. Sex is a very emotional thing for us. Stay up and talk or at least cuddle.
We know you want us to suck ‘it’. WE KNOW. You ALWAYS want us to suck ‘it’. Don’t worry we haven’t forgotten but may I say this again, this isn’t a porno. We don’t enjoy giving head. It sucks. It hurts. You pushing our head down doesn’t help the situation. Also, thrusting and making us gag is not cool.
Ok seriously, this is just disgusting. AGAIN, this is not a porno. Ew, ew, ew. Unless you want your jizz on your face then don’t expect us to want it on ours. It’s just plain gross. By the way, no jizzing on our tits is not ‘sexy’ or enjoyable either.
Just because you saw it online or on porn doesn’t mean that it’s actually pleasurable in real life. We like to keep it simple. Of course trying the odd new thing is exciting but can you not bend our legs over our heads and turn us into pretzels? Thanks.
Okay, we give you head for twenty minutes or have sex and you finish. What about us? We’re not just here to do your dishes and wack you off. Sorry but that’s not how it works.
Just don’t. This is not hot. It’s disturbing. WE KNOW YOU WANT US TO TOUCH IT. You always want us to touch it. It’s annoying. If we want to jack you off, we will. Making us do it isn’t going to make us want to do it.
Good god. What ever happened to enjoying the silence? It’s like everytime it’s quiet you have to say something. That’s not even the worst part. You have to say something that makes no sense what so ever. You sing parts of songs or throw random words together. You’re not funny nor entertaining your just annoying us and making us wonder whether or not your brain is fully developed.
We know you like food. We also like food. But we’re humans not animals. No one is going to eat your food if you don’t swallow it down in five seconds. Slow it down, it’s gross.
Whatever it is, unplug! Seriously it’s a piss off. Are we not as important as your phone?
Oh girls, I know this is a big one. It’s the 21st century, yes, but you are an adult and not child. Time to unplug the console and grow up. You have responsibilities now. You may be racking up lives on your game but they’re only as real as the life that you don’t have.
You’re worse than us! Your eggs weren’t cooked like your moms or you won’t eat our food because you dislike sour cream. You think your arms are flabby or are ticked that the neighbours dog crapped on the lawn. Lighten up. Try new things, if you want your mothers eggs then move back in with her. You don’t think I have insecurities? Dogs crap, s*** happens!
Just because a word is cool on whatever website you’re looking at doesn’t mean it is in reality. Saying stupid things like ‘side boob’, ‘nip slip’, ‘cup a feel’, etc. Aren’t hot. They’re actually a major turn off so just don’t.
Okay, we like seeing you naked. Love it actually. But I don’t understand why guys always have to take off there clothes. Are we nudists? What if my parents show up at the door while we’re cuddling? Like seriously, they never knock.
This probably could’ve went in my first list but oh well. You know those kisses guys give where they pucker up their lips and force a big wet on on your lips, maybe even some tongue? BLEH. We feel violated. Guys, there’s no need to force us. Also, are you five? Stop sticking your lips out like that it’s weird.
We know you don’t like our romcoms or our one direction album. That doesn’t mean that you have to mock it the entire time that it’s on. You don’t have to blurt out your made up words and ruin the song or mock the characters in our show. This is a MAJOR piss off. It’s TOTALLY a annoying and it’s not getting you any of that bedroom time that you want.
We NEED those snacks. You can’t possibly understand how much we NEED them. If ‘that’ time of the month rolls around and we find out that you’ve eaten our chocolate, you’re dead. Completely dead. Like it almost justifies ending the relationship.
Okay, so we know men mature slower than women but seriously? You’re 23 and still want to go out and drink all the time? Our idea of a perfect night is nice date watching movies or sitting under the stars. We don’t want to go to some grungy bar with your friends and watch you drink beer for the a millionth time. We’re over that!
If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. Let us know! You have to understand that you were designed to have sex all the time where as we were designed to carry and raise children. The majority of this want this more than anything. It’s our main life goal! It’s the one thing that we’re sure that we want to do in the future. We know that you can’t possibly understand but can you at least try? At least talk about it because if our timelines don’t match up then this could be a deal breaker for us. If you want marriage after thirty five and we’re thinking about getting started right away, we’re not going to wait around for you to grow up. When we’re ready, we’re ready.
You like eating while watching TV. We get it. We do too. But did you get any of it in your mouth? Ew.
You’re a grown ass man! Get out of bed, get off the computer, off your phone, turn off the tv! Shovel the sidewalk, mow the grass, do something productive! This turns us on!
NEVER be late. This a serious confidence knocker. If you can’t even bother to be on time then what does that say about you and your relationship?
This is not sexy to us nor is it a conversation we like to have everyday. By the way, we don’t need to know everytime your nuts are itchy.
This is just weird. We know you like touching yourself but just stop. Having your hands constantly in your pants is disgusting.
This one is simple. Just don’t do it. It’s like being late, it makes us think that you just don’t care all that much.
She thinks it’s weird when you get awkward about it because to her it’s as normal as eating, sneezing, and burping. It’s a part of life that she’s dealt with for years. If you’re passed the awkward burping and farting in front of eachother phase then why aren’t you passed the awkwardness of her period? You’re probably the only one that thinks the topic is awkward. If you have questions, ask them. Let her know that you aren’t completely grossed out by it because we all assume that you are and that is why we never bring it up. If you are grossed out by it, then maybe talking about it will help, because eventually you’re going to have to get used to it if you plan on remaining a straight man for your entire lifetime.
basic fixing skills, etc.
14 thoughts on “The Most Annoying Things That Our Twenty Something Year Old Boyfriends Do”
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Yup, omg.
I agree. Lawls
Ugh tell me about it. I thought I was the only one dealing with a manchild.
My fiancé yells at me for 90% of this.
Gah. Yes. This is mostly true. Especially about women needing more than just sex in a relationship.
Everytime I tell him that I don’t like something in bed he tells me I must be weird because he knows a lot of girls that like it. Maybe on pornography. Ugh. He’s also always telling me that I have a low sex drive. I don’t! if you want someone to have sex with every second then date a man! I also can’t stand when he touches my nipples. It’s so annoying. It’s almost as bad as when he squeezes my butt. I feel violated.
Glad I’m not the only one feeling like this.
THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT WE ARE NOT PORNSTARS SO MANY TIMES. PORN IS SO VERY MISLEADING. THIS IS SO REAL.
Whaaaaat? You don’t like surprise butt sex?!
my girlfriend literally doesn’t feed me for three days if i even bring it up
GOOD! IT HURTS SO BAD!
F U C K YOU, YOU MOTHERFUC KING CUN>T PIECE OF SH.IT GIRLS ARENT FUC KING ANGELS, YOU MOTHERFUC KING GIRLS ARE WORSE THAN GUYS, YOU BACKSTABBING LITTLE TRAITORS
weird s***, im a dude, and my girlfriend does like 80% of these things to me. I admit to a few of these but wow… this is interesting
You do make a few valid points about how to be a better man for your women.
You must also realize that for every dash representing an annoying habit about men, there is an equally annoying trait about women. i promise.